


Still Standing

by stardropdream



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: 5 Sentence Fiction, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of drabbles for the OT3 based off the 5 Sentence Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Standing

**Party / Cooking / Magic**

 

There’s always a magic in the air whenever it’s Watanuki’s birthday – at least Himawari thinks so.  Perhaps that magic exists everyday for Watanuki and Doumeki, but for her, nowadays, it’s a rarity to encounter magic that exists beyond the warping of her own aura.  It’s certainly more noteworthy than the relatively mundane aspects of university – homework, classes, roommates, awkward conversations as to why the mirror broke last week, explaining Tanpopo’s dietary needs…

 

She sits with a relative ease on the counter, far enough away to provide space, but close enough because she is selfish and covets the closeness between herself and the two others, longs for the stability they used to provide to her.

 

This, at least, is a constant: stability and safety.  Watanuki is almost done designing his cake with little sunflowers, birds, and one rather severe looking cow (“a deadpanned gluton,” Watanuki mutters with a satisfied smile) and Himawari feels right at home, despite herself, despite knowing that the hours are already trickling away to the countdown for next year: at sunset, it will be three hundred and sixty five days to go…

 

 

\---

 

 

**Scars / Tears /Smile**

 

He visits her at university, and the few friends she’s managed to make glare at him when he isn’t looking, but she sees it and it breaks her heart.

 

She knows that _he_ knows she’s hurting, because she’s never been able to hide it from him.  The way her smile crinkles at the corners like paper, the way there’s no life to her eyes at all when she does manage that smile (perhaps that’s why she so often closes her eyes).  

 

She tries to ignore it, when he holds her close at night, traces her scars absently in a way that leaves her shivering from her sadness and her uncertainty, but still leaves her longing for more, for some kind of stability.  They speak of Watanuki in these moments, voices hushed and hesitant, and she tries to keep smiling, tries to keep living because that’s what he wanted for her.

 

“I don’t know why they’re so cruel to you,” she whispers into the darkness, looking up at Doumeki with a kind of haunting she knows she’ll never be able to shake from her expression.

 

“They think I make you cry,” he says in turn, expression stoic but she can see how much it wears away at him, too: he has no scars, he has no reminders, he has no physical stitches etched into his skin, but he is just as scarred as she is – perhaps more, because he has picked up a life that exists through subtraction, exists through filling in the spaces between herself and Watanuki. 

 

She doesn’t respond, realizing belatedly that of course that’d be the case – they’d think he’s her boyfriend, the one who visits sometimes but always leaves her crying after she hangs up the phone (they think he has another woman, that’s why Himawari can’t go visit him instead – they’re only partly right, and way off base).  She lowers her eyes but feels him shake his head, his hand pressing flat against her back, warm underneath his palm – and for half a second she allows herself to feel safe.

 

 

\---

 

 

**Touch / Rain / Smile**

 

His birthday falls on a rainy day this year, which means that they have to sit on the veranda as the wind licks at the chimes hanging from the roof, and water threatens their clothes.    Himawari knows better than to suggest they eat inside, because even now she’s afraid of going in there, not because of what has passed through those doors but because she herself has.  She tries not to focus on such thoughts, though, because today is Watanuki’s birthday and it’s meant to be a happy day – the only day when the three of them are all together.  Watanuki drinks alcohol but has forgone the pipe today because he knows the smell gives Himawari a headache, and his smile is a little apologetic but, for the most part, that same kind, wonderful smile she’d fallen in love with all those years ago.

 

Doumeki is sneaking food off the plates between them when Watanuki is distracted smiling at Himawari, who smiles back and laughs behind her hand when Watanuki turns around to snap at Doumeki, who seems about as unconcerned as Doumeki always is about it, munching away on the food. 

 

The day ends too quickly and the rain hasn’t let up once – she slips her sandals on, standing at the foot of the little stairs leading up to the wooden porch, and Watanuki smiles at her as best he can and she smiles back, blinking a few times as the rain touches the crown of her head, weaves into her hair, slides down the length of her nose for half a moment before she wipes at her face.

 

“I’ll call when I get back home,” she promises, a tradition – to let them know she’s okay, that she made it home, that there were no accidents – if only to hear his voice again – and Watanuki nods as Doumeki steps down to walk her to the train station, touching at her wrist when she doesn’t move right away.

 

She blinks a few more times and turns her eyes away as they walk, disappearing into the gloom of the night’s rain – and when she looks up at Doumeki, her smile is watery and unclear, but despite it all… she knows she’s happier than she would be if she were completely alone –

 

At least she isn’t completely alone now.

 


End file.
